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Why Can't I Let Go Of My Anger? Two steps to start liberating yourself today

Parinaz shams| Spiritual Advisor

Anger is a powerful emotion that often lingers, festers, and stubbornly refuses to let go. It can be relentless, overshadowing our joy and peace.

Have you ever wondered why it's so challenging to release this anger? Maybe you don't realize how much your anger is building until snap at your loved ones or throw your phone across the room.

I know I always considered myself as someone who "didn't really get angry." But when I saw myself chuck my iPhone across the room after yet another heart-wrenching fight with my ex-boyfriend and it shattered into a bunch of pieces, I realized that was a fake storyline I was feeding myself.

In that moment, I realized I had to step back and get to the root of what was causing my anger rather than continually pretend it didn't exist. It started with taking a hard look at that relationship, the toxic relationship cycle I had been in for years, and so much more...

My inner searching led me to realize that anger isn't actually bad, but the degree to which many of us harbor it and shove it down is problematic. It hurts our health, cuts our confidence, and reduces are capacity to give and receive love.

What I've realized through my own inner exploration and in working alongside other women and men also trying to understand their anger, is that there is a root cause that's plaguging all of us and can be healed.

The root cause to anger that lingers lies in a society-wide cycle that has us trapped in an invisible cage, one where we suppress our true selves to appear "good" and "right."

The rest of this post further explores this cycle and how self-acceptance & compassion, cultivated through Tantra Meditation and Somatic Healing Yoga, can be the keys to breaking free.

The Society-Wide Cycle: Caught in the Act of Suppression

Picture a caged monkey. It's a powerful and sadly accurate metaphor for how many of us live our lives.

We may not be physically caged, but we're mentally and emotionally bound by the expectations, judgments, and norms of society.

From a young age, we're conditioned to fit into predefined molds of what it means to be "good," "right," and "noble." We're taught to suppress our true selves, our desires, and our authentic emotions.

In this society-wide cycle, we unknowingly trade our authenticity for acceptance.

We smile when we're hurting, say "yes" when we mean "no," and bottle up our anger to maintain an outward appearance of composure.

This suppression creates an inner turmoil, an agitation and grating sensation against our essence that causes our anger to simmer beneath the surface, hidden from our conscious awareness, but ever-present.

The Unseen Anger: A Brewing Storm

This underlying anger can manifest in various ways: in our relationships, our health, and our overall well-being.

We might find ourselves snapping at loved ones over seemingly trivial matters, or we might struggle with physical ailments and chronic stress.

The anger is a reflection of our inner conflict, a clash between our True Selves and the masks we wear.

I'll take you back to the day I chucked my iPhone across my apartment living room after my then-boyfriend hung up on me. All I wanted was to be heard, respected in that relationship and I was constantly met with disrespectful actions like him hanging up on me when it got hard.

But I realized that it wasn't really him that was so infuriating - it was that I didn't feel heard and seen in general because I didn't let my full self come to the surface in so many ways.

Basically, that relationship was a mirror for how I had been treating myself. My boyfriend would literally hang up on me, but I would figuratively hang up on myself all the time - tell myself my own thoughts were stupid, censor myself before speaking a truth, not holding boundaries when I knew something or someone wasn't right for me.

That relationship showed me the hard way that if anger is a signal that you have been denying yourself freedom of self-expression and there's room to let yourself be more honest.

The Solution: Cultivating Self-Acceptance and Compassion

Breaking free from this cycle of suppression and anger starts with cultivating self-acceptance and compassion.

Part of healing and living a life of fulfillment is realizing all the ways in which you have denied yourself the opportunity to be your full self. And we all have, in one way or another.

The spiritual path can help us. It holds solutions to this society-wide problem that have been tested and proven over thousands of years.

The spiritual path, when engaged authentically and with true healing in mind, is about personal liberation. Freedom from the cages that we have knowingly and unknowingly inhabited as a result of pain, trauma, and the need to accepted by our tribe.

This is where Tantra Meditation and somatic Healing yoga come into play.

They can help you learn how to accept yourself first. They can help you see who you are deep down and bring genuine love to that person, especially the parts that have been hidden away, laying dormant for a long time.

These tools can help you unleash your courage, playfulness, raw truth - all of these ultimately lead to abundance of freedom and joy.

Tantra Meditation

Tantra meditation is a profound practice that connects us with our innermost self. It encourages self-acceptance by inviting us to explore and embrace all facets of our being.

Through meditation, we peel away the layers of societal conditioning and get in touch with our genuine emotions, desires, and needs. This practice offers a path to self-love and acceptance.

Somatic Healing Yoga:

Somatic healing yoga is a holistic approach that blends movement, breath, and mindfulness. It encourages you to release stored tension (particularly in the body) that has accumulated as the result of trauma that leads to anxiety and fear.

This form of yoga allows us to express and release suppressed emotions through movement and breath work, fostering a sense of liberation and emotional release.

These two tools, alongside professional spiritual guidance of my advisor have truly transformed my relationship with myself, and therefore my relationship with anger.

I know that they can help you, too.

And the best part is, you don't have to ever have tried yoga before to be successful at Somatic Healing Yoga. And you can have success with Tantra Meditation even if you've tried before and meditation feels challenging.

My spiritual guidance programs specialize in helping people develop a practice with these tools in a way that is accessible and lasting.

Programs by Parinaz:

Empowered Yogi Program: This program combines the wisdom of yoga and tantra to empower individuals to embrace their true selves, release anger, and live authentically. It provides tools and practices to cultivate self-acceptance, compassion, and self-love. Learn more here.

Meditation Made Easy Program: Meditation can be an essential tool for self-discovery and inner peace. Parinaz's program makes meditation accessible and easy, helping you connect with your inner self and release pent-up emotions. Learn more here.


Breaking free from the cycle of suppressed anger is a transformative journey. It's about reclaiming your authenticity, embracing self-acceptance, and fostering compassion for yourself.

I know you can live the life you desire, it starts with cultivating a relationship with yourself that is rooted in courage, strength, and love to be the full and free version of you.

Through practices like Tantra Meditation and Somatic Healing Yoga, you can begin to release the anger that has kept you bound and find the peace and self-acceptance you've been seeking. I'd love to help you get started through the guidance of programs Empowered Yogi and Meditation Made Easy.

I absolutely love hearing from everyone who reads these blog posts. Please leave a heart, a comment, or a message here. I want to know: What within you is ready to be set free?

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