How self-trust can help you find purpose, love, and strength in life
Updated: Nov 22, 2022
Trust is something that we all deeply desire because it represents safety and security.
We crave trustworthy people because most of us want to experience the feeling of letting go in the presence of another safely...
We want to be taken care of, loved, nurtured, and supported without worry that it'll all be betrayed or pulled from underneath us.
But, because trust is fragile and for most of us it has been betrayed, we're skeptical of others and we don't lead with trust.
In so many ways, we constantly send out small tests to others, consciously or unconsciously, to see if they're safe for us.
Ultimately, how easily we trust others, and the ways we seek to trust in others, mirror nothing more than our level of trust within ourselves.
If you constantly struggle to trust, if you're constantly on the lookout for the ways you might be being deceived by others, it signals that there is something unsettled in you.
This was the case for me for so long.
I had a very hard time opening up and trusting others because I never knew for sure what within me was real and valid and what was not.
There was a deep sense of self-doubt on a fundamental level in me that was masked by the day-to-day of how I showed up.
If you asked people who knew me, they probably wouldn't have said that I was that way.
Can you relate to this at all?
The deeper seeds of mistrust that lived in me all came from my conditioning, and they do for you, too.
Conditioning is all the ideas of who you're supposed to be, of how things should look that's been handed to you by your family, society, and the circumstances you grew up in.
Conditioning is the set of long-standing beliefs that you have about yourself (whether you're aware of them or not) that set the stage for your expectations...and when life doesn't start to form your expectations, we all have a tendency to freak out.
We get unsteady internally.
We feel like we don't belong. We begin to think we're doing something wrong, or worse, that we all together are wrong.
Amid that experience, we feel alone. And that is something that we all fear deeply. Alone-ness.
But there's something so very important to be known here, which I hope will help all of you establish a stronger connection to the trust within you today.
And that is: You've never been alone and you never really are alone.
Within you now, in this present moment, is a profound mixture of all the people who came before you, their energy, their beliefs, and truths.
You can call these "people" your ancestors, or your lineage.
Their desires and experiences that were fulfilled, unfulfilled, seen, or unheard...
Those people before you, whether you know them or not, whether you're aware of your roots or not, are held within you today and you've been holding it since you were born.
When you start to embrace this as a truth, you can start to trust in yourself more because you know that your strength comes from something so far beyond you.
There is strength in connecting to your lineage, your ancestors, and your roots.
You might doubt yourself, like all of us do, based on experiences you've had in the past and based on moments where you felt disempowered.
But you are never just you.
You're also that whole line of people behind you.
You have an opportunity now in a very sacred way to connect with your conscious awareness. The lineage before you exists in your conscious awareness.
When you meditate and connect with awareness, you can receive strength, guidance, and clarity from the energy in your lineage.
This is why I teach Tantra Meditation to my private clients and on my spiritual healing retreats.
Because Tantra has a specific way of connecting to the root energy within each of us to bring about clarity, calm, and grounding that allows us to trust again.
Embracing those people that energy in your life now as a support system that can guide you towards deeper self-knowing can guide you towards a deep identity.
One that is not based on stories and narratives and doubts and ideas of who you're supposed to be,
But an identity based on deep truth.
That sounds nice, right?
Well, when you can find this within you becomes easier to release that constant need for control and the constant questioning of yourself and other people.
I had the opportunity to work with a woman who shared at one point that she's never had a time in her life where she didn't feel alone.
Based on her childhood circumstances, and the way that her life has shaped into adulthood. She's felt it's always been her looking out for her.
No cushion, no safety net.
No sense of family surrounding her to lean on.
That all changed when began to connect with her energy through conscious Tantra meditation on one of my spiritual wellness retreats.
If you're not familiar with authentic Tantra or meditation, it essentially focuses on self-trust and self-awareness.
As my client and good friend did these meditations, she became open to the possibility that her family and so many other unknown sacred energies were around her, supporting her energetically even though they were not physically present.
She found solace within herself through this connection that she said she hadn't ever before.
Let me tell you, that was the most beautiful thing to witness. In my eyes, what makes it so powerful is that it came from within her... she found a sense of safety, of security of trust within her.
And from that, she was able to go so much deeper into her healing, which led to incredible growth and success in the following year.
She blossomed in so many forms because she was no longer doubtful. She was no longer constrained by the idea of what opening up might do.
She went from being stuck in an unfulfilling corporate job to enrolling in a Ph.D. program.
She moved out of the town she had been living for 10 years which kept her in a comfort zone of protection. She learned to trust herself enough to move across the country solo.
She took big leaps because she could trust that she was supported, and guided, and she knew who she was more than ever before...
She was no longer afraid of finding herself.
In essence, she allowed herself to be held by her roots.
I share this story because it shows the power that comes from connecting to your inner trust.
It's also so relatable because so many of us at some point or another feel the weight of aloneness of self-doubt of wondering what our purpose is.
But you, just like this woman, can create the space to connect with your conscious awareness.
You can learn Tantra meditation, you can engage in other practices that support the cultivation of your awareness like Hatha Yoga, Ayurveda, and spiritual guidance.
In choosing to do that for yourself, you are embracing the power of your existence. You are taking your life into your own hands in a healing way rather than a forceful, fearful way.
And when you do that, you can rise to your highest and fullest self.
You can give and receive your trust your love and your abundance so much more openly and authentically.
My intention in this post is to share about trust and the ways that I've started to learn it within myself and the ways I've started to unlearn some of the blocks and barriers I put up against it.
I share the stories of the people that I am fortunate enough to know and to work with so that you feel empowered to rise in your awareness and embrace the power of self-trust.
Share this blog post with someone who needs to hear it and leave a comment if it resonated with you today.