Parinaz Shams| Spiritual Advisor
In my last blog post, we delved into anger, exploring its roots and the suppression that fuels its relentless fire. We discussed the struggle of releasing anger and today I want to dive deeper, because there's a lot more to uncover.
Why Can't I Let Go Of My Anger? Two Steps to Start Liberating Yourself Today - Part Two
At the core of relentless anger lies suppression, an unconscious behavior I highlighted in my previous blog post.
We push down what we truly feel and think to fit the mold of what is considered acceptable by our friends, family, partners, and even ourselves. This repression results in inner turmoil and a simmering agitation that resides just beneath the surface of our being.
But why do we suppress ourselves? Why do we selectively hide away parts of who we are? How did we get here, and what can we do to move forward?
Why We Hide Parts of Ourselves
The fundamental reason we feel the need to be accepted is that, at a critical juncture in our lives, we were made to believe we were not lovable just as we are.
It might have been during your early childhood, between the ages of 5 to 8, when you felt your family didn't accept you. Or perhaps it was during your teenage years when changing schools led to feelings of rejection by your peers.
At some point along your life's path, someone significant (parents, caregivers, teachers, friends, siblings) withheld their love, making you feel that who you were at your core was not right, good, or valid. In response, you unconsciously began crafting a more acceptable version of yourself, piece by piece.
You started behaving in ways that wouldn't rock the boat. You adopted behaviors that you knew would please your parents.
You felt like no one saw you as anything more than a play toy, sexual object, or punching bag.
You silenced your true emotions and replied with a fake smile and an "I'm fine" to appease your abusers. You did whatever it took to survive by erasing essential parts of yourself.
That's why you're angry. You've suppressed the younger, hurt self that's buried beneath the layers of adaptation and survival.
Healing the Younger Self
You might be asking, "Can it be that simple? Is my anger and anxiety really rooted in the Younger Me feeling unloved?"
Yes. It really is that simple. Imagine this: you see a young boy or girl walk up to you and they say, "I really don't believe my family loves me for who I am. They only love me when I act the way they act or want me to act."
Or they say to you: "I'm not safe. I'm afraid of the adults in my life."
When you imagine this conversation with a child, does it seem easier to accept that child wouldn't feel like they can express themselves freely and be their true self without consequence?
Does it make more sense why that Inner Child would be angry, confused, sad, and therefore anxious?
The Path to Releasing Anger By Healing the Younger Self
The good news is that we can heal that younger self, that wounded part of us that carries the pain of rejection and self-doubt.
There are techniques that can make that hurt part of us feel safe, seen, and loved. These techniques are somatic in nature, focusing on the integration of the mind and body.
You might be new to the idea of somatic healing, so think of it this way: physical activities like going to the gym or running release endorphins and make you feel good momentarily.
However, they don't necessarily yield a trauma-healing effect. They're great for physical health, but they may not fully address issues such as confidence, self-trust, anxiety, and unrelenting anger.
This is where Somatic Healing Yoga comes into play.
I discovered this practice out of desperation, feeling lost, burnt out, and overwhelmed.
Having grown up in Boulder, the land of hippies, I had some prior exposure to yoga, and I started practicing it consistently.
This led me on a decade-long journey of studying this ancient science and its profound ability to heal trauma in the body.
During my time working at a wilderness therapy rehab, I became a certified yoga teacher and began to witness the incredible ways mental and emotional stressors or traumas can be released through simple movements of the body.
Somatic Healing Yoga offers a holistic approach, integrating not just the physical but also the emotional and mental aspects, guiding us towards profound healing.
It was the first tool I learned to connect with my younger self in a way that was approachable and not weird. It didn't feel awkward or make believe. I could really see and feel the younger me while I was practicing. That helped me start talking with my Inner Child and learn what their pain was all about.
Yoga and Meditation: Tools of Transformation
Yoga has been one of the most transformative tools in my life, precisely because it incorporates something I've always loved – physical movement – with true inner healing.
I never considered myself particularly flexible when I first started doing yoga, but I fell in love with how it made me feel. It felt like a safe space where I could comfortably move my body in a new way.
Little did I know that this practice would become a key element in my journey towards healing and self-discovery.
As I delved deeper into my yoga practice, I discovered a second powerful tool of transformation – meditation.
Many of you have likely heard about the numerous benefits of meditation, such as its ability to help release addictions and mood swings.
But for me, it did something unexpected and profoundly impactful. Meditation connected me to my younger self, my inner child.
When I first began meditating, the concept of inner child healing wasn't as prevalent as it is today.
It wasn't a widely recognized practice at the time. But as I continued my meditation journey, I realized that my inner child felt deeply rejected and pushed aside, not only by people in my past but also by me.
This realization marked a turning point in my life. I started to realize exactly where to direct my energy - I no longer questioned how to make myself feel better. I no longer felt confused by my anxiety or anger because I understood it was all rooted in the wounded Inner Child.
When I started healing that Inner Child, I slept better. I was calmer at work. I was nicer to myself, and to my family. I was softer in my communication, which I desperately wanted.
What are the transformational benefits of doing inner child healing work in addition to releasing anger?
1. Reconnecting with Your Authentic Self: Inner child healing allows you to rediscover and embrace the core of who you are. It's a journey back to your authentic self, unburdened by the masks and defenses you've built over the years.
2. Emotional Healing: It helps you release past emotional wounds and trauma that may have been buried deep within. By connecting with your inner child, you can address unresolved emotions and provide the nurturing and healing they need.
3. Improved Relationships: Healing your inner child can positively impact your relationships. You'll find it easier to express your needs and feelings, leading to healthier, more fulfilling connections with others.
4. Self-Compassion: As you learn to nurture and love your inner child, you'll also cultivate self-compassion. This, in turn, reduces self-criticism and judgment, fostering a greater sense of self-worth.
5. Emotional Regulation: Inner child healing can help you manage mood swings and emotional turbulence. By addressing the root causes of your emotional struggles, you can attain greater emotional stability.
6. Overcoming Addictions: Many addictive behaviors are linked to unmet emotional needs. Inner child healing can play a crucial role in helping you overcome addictions by addressing the underlying emotional issues.
7. Increased Self-Awareness: As you connect with your inner child and explore your past experiences, you'll gain a deeper understanding of your triggers, behaviors, and patterns. This self-awareness is a powerful tool for personal growth.
8. Enhanced Well-Being: Overall, inner child healing contributes to a greater sense of well-being, contentment, and happiness in your life. It allows you to let go of the past and embrace the present with an open heart.
Incorporating somatic practices like Somatic Healing Yoga with inner child healing through meditation has been an instrumental part of my own journey of transformation.
Together, these tools have helped me rewrite the relationship I have with my inner child, allowing me to heal and move forward with a profound sense of self-acceptance and love.
The journey towards inner healing is a personal one, but it's worth every step. It's an opportunity to liberate yourself from the chains of past rejection, self-doubt, and anger, and to embrace the authentic, whole-hearted you.
Through these transformative practices, you can nurture your inner child, heal the wounds of the past, and step into a future filled with self-compassion, resilience, and emotional well-being.
Explore Inner Child Healing: A Path to Personal Transformation
If the concept of inner child healing resonates with you, I'd love to hear from you.
I'm currently working on something special, designed to guide you in healing your anger, anxiety, and self-doubt through the powerful combination of inner child-based somatic yoga and meditation.
If you're interested in hearing more about this comprehensive approach to self-healing, drop the words "INNER CHILD" in the comments below. Your comments and interest will be a huge help as I develop and finalize this program.
Your engagement on these posts, even a simple heart at the bottom of the page is huge because it helps build a community around healing, which we all need.
Together, we can open the doors to a life filled with self-compassion, resilience, and emotional well-being.
Sending you and the Little You love.